<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Mean Green Cum Machine by Orangey_Snickers</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25129240">Mean Green Cum Machine</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Orangey_Snickers/pseuds/Orangey_Snickers'>Orangey_Snickers</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe, Shrek (Movies), Star Wars Original Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack, M/M, Multi, Non-Human Genitalia, Not Canon Compliant, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Threesome - M/M/M, Very OOC, fuck me that's why, not really but kind of, obviously, palpatine and thanos are sort of dating, sheev palpatine fucks, shrek is a prostitute</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:06:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>876</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25129240</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Orangey_Snickers/pseuds/Orangey_Snickers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Thanos and Palapatine decide to spice up their sex life by having a threesome with none other than your favorite onion boy, Shrek</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sheev Palpatine/Shrek, Sheev Palpatine/Thanos, Shrek (Shrek)/Thanos (Marvel), Shrek/Thanos/Sheev Palpatine</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Mean Green Cum Machine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>yahoo answers said that ogres have reproductive organs similar to birds. so my understanding is that Shrek has a cloaca. you're welcome :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shrek couldn’t believe he’d gotten himself into this predicament. One minute, he and Fiona were discussing ways to make some extra money to support the kids and the next minute, he found himself here. One of the most diverse brothels in, well, anywhere, it seemed. People and non-people came from all over to get freaky behind these doors. There was a knock on the door and Shrek reluctantly headed over to open it. His first customers of the day.</p>
<p>In his quest to bring balance to the universe, Thanos stumbled upon a particular galaxy, a galaxy that some might describe as far, far away. There, he discovered a man after his own heart: Emperor Palpatine. Or, as the man had whispered to him one night in the throes of passion, Darth Sidious. They were an interesting pair: one, a dark lord of the Sith who strived for immortality and had never bothered with love. The other, a lonely man doing what he felt was right for the universe, who just wanted to be loved. Somehow, they worked well together, scheming during the day and making love at night. One day, Thanos brought an idea up to his lover.<br/>“A threesome,” he suggested. “We could disrupt our balance and perhaps find something even better.”<br/>Palpatine thought for a moment. “Very well then. I’ll try it. Where would we go?”<br/>Thanos grinned. “I know a place.”</p>
<p>When Shrek opened the door, he froze for a moment, taking in what he was seeing. On the left, there was an 8’ tall purple stud and next to him was a man only 5’7”, tiny in comparison, and shriveled. Shrek’s heart skipped a beat. He’d never admit it to anyone, but he’d always wanted to be fucked by an older man. The two stepped into the room and the taller man immediately removed his pants, revealing the largest cock Shrek had ever seen.<br/>“I’m Thanos,” he said, his voice smooth and buttery. It made Shrek shiver and his hole ached to be touched. “This is Emperor Palpatine.”<br/>The other man grinned maliciously at Shrek, his eyes and teeth gleaming. It only made Shrek hornier.<br/>“Let us begin,” the Emperor said, shoving Shrek against the wall without even touching him. He started fingering Shrek’s hole, making the ogre squirm and moan into his ear. Thanos, off to the side, was slowly stroking his own cock, getting himself hard before joining in.<br/>The Emperor pushed Shrek in front of Thanos, who gave him a moment to breathe before shoving his enormous schlong down Shrek’s throat. Shrek managed to take the whole thing and expertly bobbed up and down, his left hand fondling Thanos’s balls as his right rested on the tall man’s thigh, keeping himself steady. Meanwhile, the Emperor was thrusting in and out of Shrek’s hole, making Shrek moan against Thanos’s dick, which in turn made Thanos moan as well.<br/>After some time of that, both men pulled out of Shrek. There was precum dripping down both cocks. The Emperor laid on the bed and spread his legs, commanding Shrek between them. “I want you to eat my ass, whore.”<br/>Shrek immediately obeyed, and as soon as he penetrated the Emperor’s sweet, juicy asshole with his tongue, he felt Thanos penetrate him from behind. All seventeen thick, meaty inches of Thanos’s monster dong were deep inside Shrek, ripping his hole apart in the best way possible. Shrek could barely remember to continue massaging the Emperor’s prostate with his tongue, the pleasure from Thanos was so great. Eventually, the Emperor pushed Shrek away and had Thanos lay where he had been. He commanded Shrek to ride Thanos, bouncing up and down on that colossal cock. At the same time, the Emperor had his dick in Shrek’s mouth, face-fucking him harder than Shrek had even been face-fucked before. At the same time, he had his hands on Shrek’s nipples, sending bolts of electricity through them. Shrek was in ecstasy. He’d never felt so much pleasure all at once. He heard Thanos say, in that sexy voice of his, that he was about to cum. <br/>“Fill me up with your cum, daddy,” Shrek begged him, his eyes rolling back. And Thanos did, cuming with such force that Shrek was thrust forwards, the Emperor’s dick forced further down his throat. The sudden movement made the Emperor cum as well, shooting his load into Shrek’s mouth. The hot cum flooding through him, along with the mind-numbing pleasure of taking two dicks at once was too much for Shrek and he came with a loud moan, his cum pouring down Thanos’s cock.<br/>“Lick it off,” Thanos commanded him, and Shrek did, sliding off Thanos’s dick and licking all his cum off of it. The Emperor had his fingers in Shrek’s hole again and Shrek was moaning and squirming even more than before, the overstimulation driving him insane. He came again, squirting on the Emperor’s fingers and some on his face. The two men were satisfied and cleaned themselves up, leaving Shrek panting on the bed. They reclothed themselves in silence and left a hefty tip on the dresser for Shrek.<br/>“We’ll be back,” the Emperor informed him, on his way out the door. “You make an excellent cumdump.”</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>